Supporting Your Child Through an Eating Disorder
Eating disorders are becoming more prevalent in children and adolescents. Evidence indicates that more than one in five children throughout the world show signs of disordered eating. If your child has been diagnosed with an eating disorder, it can evoke a wide range of emotions – from heartbreak and frustration to pain and confusion. But there are steps you, as the parent, can take to help them on their journey towards recovery.
Understanding Eating Disorders
Many parents are relieved when an eating disorder diagnosis is provided for their child after months or even years of observing the signs. Others may feel skeptical of the news – especially if their child is in denial. Despite their insistence that they’re fine, individuals with an eating disorder are not always aware of their mental and physical state. And many teens will go to great lengths to hide their disorder. Body dysmorphia often has eating disorder sufferers believing that their bodies are a lot bigger than they actually are or obsessing about one or more perceived flaws in their appearance.2 This can trigger embarrassment, shame, and anxiety around their body image. At times it might even be crippling to normal daily functions. Unfortunately, in most situations, insight into the severity of the condition and state of the child’s health is not realized until far along into the recovery journey. For the best chance at your child’s recovery, it’s important that you don’t give up.
Seeking Help for Your Child
If you have a child under the age of 18 who is suffering from an eating disorder, you can require them to obtain help regardless of their consent. If your child is older than 18, it might help to ask if they want help making the first call or appointment to ease their anxiety about seeking help. If they decline your offer to help but promise to call themselves, follow up with them and see if they made the call. In severe cases, medical guardianship may be granted so that the parent can make medical decisions for their child regardless of age. You can talk with your child’s doctor or pediatrician if this is something you think would be beneficial3.
Treatment and Insurance Considerations
The specific treatment your child will receive depends on the severity and type of the diagnosed eating disorder. Regardless of the particular eating disorder they are dealing with or the treatment approach, your unwavering love and support not only conveys your care but can also serve as a vital motivator to help your child navigate their treatment.
If your child is under 18 years old and you are managing their treatment, it is important to be aware that not all health insurance plans cover the full spectrum of services needed for effective eating disorder treatment. Denials from insurance providers may stem from various reasons, including a patient’s weight not falling below a certain threshold, a treatment history lacking prior attempts at a lower level of care before requesting a higher level (such as inpatient treatment), insufficient progress in recovery, a perceived lack of motivation during treatment, inconsistent attendance, or the absence of complicating medical conditions and more.
Prior to the start of your child’s treatment journey, it’s imperative that you carefully read through your insurance plan and speak with an insurance representative to get any questions answered. Be sure to request information about in-network and out-of-network benefits to reveal cost discrepancies. It’s also important to talk with billing/claims staff at the facility you are considering for your child’s care to gain insight into cost estimates before treatment begins.
Conducting a comprehensive diagnostic evaluation is crucial, as many eating disorders are associated with mental conditions like, depression, trauma, obsessive compulsive disorder, social phobia, and anxiety, among others. A complete assessment can help to extend more benefits, but you must communicate these with the insurer so they have the most accurate information.
Finally, it’s imperative to maintain a detailed record of every communication you have with your insurer, including the date and time, what was discussed, who you spoke to, and their contact information.4 Documenting all correspondence can save immense amounts of time down the road and ensures that you are optimizing insurance benefits when it comes to your child’s treatment.
Supporting Your Child’s Recovery
After your child comes home from an inpatient facility or if they’re participating in outpatient treatment, try to keep consistent routines. Sit to eat with them at meals and snacks as often as you can to help relieve some pressure of meal times. It’s crucial to refrain from commenting on their eating habits or their body, as such remarks, even well-intentioned ones, can be triggering for them.2 When talking with your child about their recovery, it is important to keep open communication between you both. Let them know they can be heard without judgment and that their feelings are valid. Encouraging your child to continue with recovery by focusing on the reasons why they want to heal and improve (i.e. they want to travel, or have children, or build a career) can be more beneficial than fixating on physical appearances. Identifying sources of motivation outside of their body image will provide encouragement while alleviating anxiety about the uncomfortable yet necessary changes going on in their body during recovery. Some uncomfortable symptoms to be expected during recovery may include: belly swelling, peripheral edema, fatigue, chills after eating, diarrhea/constipation, insomnia, disorientation and dizziness to name just a few. Try being as empathetic as possible towards these symptoms and what your child is going through.
Keep asking your child questions and remain involved throughout their recovery, while being gentle in your approach and setting boundaries for yourself3. Your child is likely to be more combative, depressed, or simply unwilling to talk about certain topics as they might feel ashamed, guilty, or even angry. Letting them know you are unconditionally there for them will help in the long run. Validate their feelings, repeating back to them what you hear them saying/feeling. “You feel sad that you’re in this uncomfortable position right now”, “You feel upset that your body is changing”. Next, share facts when appropriate about eating disorders and tell them what behavior changes you’ve seen in them throughout their eating disorder. Finally, use “I statements” to express how it makes you feel as they can be more impactful and are less likely to evoke defensiveness6. Examples include, “I feel heartbroken that you’re experiencing this right now. I love you, and am here to support you”.7
The Road to Recovery
Recovery is possible with support. There will be some challenging times throughout your child’s recovery that may be difficult for you to witness. Know that you are doing the right thing by supporting them through this journey. With the help of therapists, dietitians and doctors, your child can fully recover from their eating disorder.
If your child is suffering from an eating disorder and you are interested in working with a dietitian, feel free to book a discovery call with me.
Resources
1.López-Gil JF, García-Hermoso A, Smith L, et al. Global Proportion of Disordered Eating in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis . JAMA Pediatr. 2023;177(4):363–372. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2022.5848
2.“Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 29 Oct. 2019, www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-2035
3. “Supporting a Child with an Eating Disorder in Uncertain Times.” The Emily Program, 31 Dec. 2020, www.emilyprogram.com/blog/supporting-a-child-with-an-eating-disorder-in-uncertain-times/
4. “Parent Toolkit.” National Eating Disorders Association, 27 Feb. 2015, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-toolkit.
5. “Insurance & Legal Issues.” National Eating Disorders Association, 22 Feb. 2018, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/general-information/insurance.
6. Article by: Kathleen Smith. “Eating Disorders in Children: How to Help a Child with an Eating Disorder.” Psycom.net – Mental Health Treatment Resource Since 1996, 27 Aug. 2018, www.psycom.net/how-to-help-a-child-with-an-eating-disorder/.
7. Mahmoodi A, Bahrami B, Mehring C. Reciprocity of social influence. Nat Commun. 2018;9(1):2474. doi:10.1038/s41467-018-04925-y
